Monday, November 15, 2010

Sunapse is up!!

Today Sunapse opened! It is the first senior fine art thesis show of the semester at Montserrat College of Art, exhibiting work by myself and three others. I am so happy with how our show turned out! I am even more happy that we finished! Crazy!

I am thankful for my amazing helpers on Saturday. I could have not made my little nook happy and warm with out A, C, and H. Wow. I felt God's love through these amazing and selfless women. Wow. See I am still in awe. After my last blog about wanting to feel like God's only girl in the world, He really shows up and proves himself capable of doing just that. I feel adored by Him and I love it.

Today I was talking with my professor in my little nook in the gallery, he sat in the bowl chair which made me chuckle a bit. It was so great to hear his perspective on my paintings and my words. After he read my little journal-type words with eight of my pieces, he discovered the person I was talking to in most of the entries was Jesus. He said no other person would be able to handle all the words I was saying. He was saying no person could be so perfect and forgiving as Jesus is and that is how I can say anything to him. The way in which he summarizes my words, my thoughts, my prayers, and especially my paintings is always so beautiful and he always knows how to read what I am saying. It is amazing. After talking with both professors that I admire, I felt a lot of joy because of this huge accomplishment in finishing our show. So excellent! 

My God is a personal and active God. He knows me better than I know myself. He knows what I need and when I need it. I am thankful that I know Him. Whether I turn to the right or to the left I hear his voice telling me which way to go. I love Him so. Oh how I love him.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Only girl in the World...

Yes I have the Rhianna song echoing in my head. I think her cry is more than her need for a man to make her his everything. It is almost the cry of all hearts wanting to be known and treasured. I love singing that song to God. He totally can make me feel like the only girl in the world.

I just took a quick introvert/extrovert test. Everytime I am "balanced." I am in the middle. I totally expected that though. I remember being in pysch class my senior year and always getting 50-50 and never strongly one thing over the other, including the extrovert/introvert test. It is so funny, because I hate labels or groupings. I think it comes from the make-up of my personality and how I really cannot fit in just one category. I mean come on, only God knows the full extent of who I am. I mean I am still learning.

(six hours later....)

Okay funny story... after writing the first two paragraphs I left for Navigate and I was singing Rhianna's song, see I told you it was stuck in my head. I turn on D's radio and click, click, click and bam the song is playing. I danced and sang my heart out as I chuckled internally. Then I turned off the radio because nothing could top it. I think I will have my dance students warm up to that song tomorrow (side note). I know God created me as an individual and when he made me he totally rejoiced over me. That is what that song makes me think. God is a lover, looking for someone like me to love him. I love him so. 

Two more days until the unfolding of my thesis show. Crazy, time moves very quickly. I better get more organized, but I know it will be great because I will not quit until it is great. God you are good to me. Make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world. :)

Thursday, November 4, 2010

your joy is mine.

Wow, November! How did you get here? 
My entire backyard is currently a sea of yellow, orange and brown leaves. I love it! B taught me a game where you try and catch leaves as the season comes and goes. I have caught three. The spontaneous spurts of effort to catch a leaf in mid fall is hilarious. The first two leaves I caught, D was walking with me and we would be in the middle of a deep conversation and all of a sudden I am running away and struggling to catch the leaf's fall pattern. The most epic attempt at catching a leaf was this past saturday. The leaf I had caught previously seemed to be falling in slow motion, I had time to notice the white sky, and the river underneath me, then bam, I caught the leaf with out much effort. The next leaf I wasn't even expecting. My two friends and I walked away from the basketball court and they pointed out the leaf and enthusiastically encouraged me to catch it. If you know me, you know I love a challenge. I began sprinting and did a hurdle over a man made sand box and did a side flip, only to just miss the leaf. I didn't even have time for disappointment because of the intensity of it all. Yes, I need random excitements in my day to day life, and leaf catching is one of them. Oh yeah a big lesson I finally learned about this season while trying to catch leaves; is the essence of why we call this season "fall." The leaves are falling! I know what a revelation; it is like I always knew that it happened but now all of sudden I felt part of the season as I enjoyed the massive amount of leaves falling from the trees. 

I never thought I would write more than a paragraph just on the art of catching leaves, but I am enjoying nature that God intended for me to enjoy. Thank you God for allowing leaves to die, change color, and fall. I thank you that you will also fill the trees again with more leaves once spring comes back. 

The love I have for my nephew is so huge. I can't imagine the love I will have for my own children. It is like every time I spend time with him, I realize how amazing of a little man he is. He is full of life, curiosity, smiles and chuckles. When I start to make him chuckle, I will do whatever it is, over and over because he is just so stinking cute. He melts my heart. One of the most beautiful thing about this little boy is how he can tell the difference between real crying and fake crying. He has seen me cry on various occasions, especially as I share my heart with my sister. His massive eyes lock with mine. This time as he stares at me it is not with his laughing eyes or his curious eyes, but with his compassionate eyes. He is one of my most favorite people in this entire world and I can't wait to see him grow and grow because I love him so. 

It is amazing how after writing my thoughts that seem so tiny can really ignite the joy that is inside of me.    Even when it is hard I choose Jesus. Even when joy seems distant, I grab hold of it. Jesus is a living God and he walks with me today and everyday.